Lamentations 2: 19
"...pour our your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..."
Our Sunday school class this past week was split- women in one class, men in the other. One of the ladies that taught the women's class talked about how she carved out quiet time every day and what a difference it made in how she handled the day to day things with her children, her attitude, and her responses.
If I am being completely honest, I have never been good at having a time every day that I devote solely to the Lord. I have started this venture lots of times, but after a week or so, I go back to my old routine/habits. The most difficult thing for me is continually getting into the Word- reading, studying, and getting refreshment from God through scripture.
Well, if Sunday's lesson was a nudge that maybe I needed to start this, yesterday was a flashing neon sign that I needed to, no HAD to start spending more time with God on a daily basis. Yesterday (specifically the afternoon) was one of those days when all routine is off even when you try your best to stick to it, you have a million things to get done, but are completely unproductive, your child is cranky, whiny, screaming, overtired, and seemingly determined to be miserable and cannot tell you what is wrong. I was tired too so that did not help and the meltdowns happened on and off throughout the afternoon which meant I got nothing done around the house including dinner. My patience was worn thin, I was irritated, overwhelmed, and too tired to think straight, so by bedtime I cannot say I was sad to tuck Parker in to his crib and say goodnight.
I felt physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I was spent. As I reflected on the day later I realized that I was not happy with how I handled everything, specifically how emotionally sucked dry I felt. In that moment God reminded me that from Him comes refreshment in times like these. Maybe if I had spent some time with him before all that transpired, then my reactions might have been different. It still would have been frustrating, but instead of starting out already empty, I would have been filled. I would have had more to give and more resilience. More wise mind vs. emotional mind.
This reminder of how crucial time with the Lord is showed me that I cannot keep expecting to be the kind of mother, or wife, or business owner, or friend I want to be unless I take the time to get refreshment every day. I usually put it off. Instead I clean, work on our business, do laundry, look at Pintrest or Facebook, read e-mails, etc. Everything but spend time with Him. I don't think I can afford to do that any longer. I am not expecting to be perfect in this practice, but I am committing to make time daily to at least sit still, read scripture, and be with God even if I only spend a few minutes. I want my responses, my attitudes, and my thoughts to be covered in His word, not in frustration. I decided I must begin to get serious about getting my refreshment from Him and "pour out my heart like water in the presence of the Lord". Not just for me, but also for my children and family. So, here's to day #1 of a new start...hopefully He won't start testing my patience immediately:)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Best Husband Ever!
I have to take a moment to brag on my sweet husband. He was awesome to me this weekend. I mean, he's always good to me, but he went above and beyond the last two days. On Saturday I got to sleep in and once I got up to get ready for the day, found that he had cleaned my car out and transferred the car seat to his car already in preparation for him taking Parker with him and me going to Madison for a girls day with our 9th graders from church. I got to spend most of the day with the 9th grade girls and other Huddle leaders from our group baking cupcakes and cookies and taking them to the assisted living facility. It was fun and fulfilling to do something for the ladies and men who live there. After that I got a haircut (my first since June of last year) at a decently nice place (aka they give you a de-stressing head massage while washing your hair and take a good bit of time cutting your hair and getting it right) which was a real treat. Jeremy took Parker to meet his mom and brother for lunch and played at home for the rest of the day, so I think they had a fun guys day too! After dinner last night, Jeremy cleaned up after dinner to end a wonderful day.
We went to church this morning and out to eat at our usual Sunday lunch place (Moe's Southwest Grill). Afterwards I took a 3-hour (!!!!!!!) nap totally uninterrupted and woke up to a quiet house. Jeremy had taken Parker on a walk/wagon ride so I got a chance to walk outside by myself and enjoy this beautiful weather. Once they got back, I found that Jeremy had put my new tag on my car for me- just another small thing that I would have forgotten to do myself.
On weekends like this, I am reminded of how thankful I am to be married to someone who is so selfless so much of the time. I am not the easiest person to live with lately (i.e. pregnant and mildly moody), but he is so good about doing things to make me more comfortable, less tired, etc. even though I know he gets tired too. God also reminded me that there will be times when he is tired, moody, etc. and I should show him the same measure of grace and selflessness he has shown me.
To me, that's what marriage is about- lifting the other person up when they need it most, and they do the same for you. When we are at our worst- that is when we need grace the most. Marriage is the place you get the chance to show this ongoing selflessness. As you share it with one another, the giving of yourself is something you WANT to do, not that you have to do.
This is the same as it is with Christ- the sacrifice he made for me and the grace he shows me every day should make me WANT to give of myself to whatever He is calling me to do, not do it out of obligation. I know I won't pull this off perfectly with my spouse or with God. I am sure I will choose selfishness sometimes when I get stuck in my humanity, but I hope that I can remember the grace I've been shown by both my husband and my God and that it directs my behavior and my choices towards them.
"Through selfless work, love of God grows in the heart. Then through his grace one can realize him in course of time. God can be seen."
Ramakrishna
We went to church this morning and out to eat at our usual Sunday lunch place (Moe's Southwest Grill). Afterwards I took a 3-hour (!!!!!!!) nap totally uninterrupted and woke up to a quiet house. Jeremy had taken Parker on a walk/wagon ride so I got a chance to walk outside by myself and enjoy this beautiful weather. Once they got back, I found that Jeremy had put my new tag on my car for me- just another small thing that I would have forgotten to do myself.
On weekends like this, I am reminded of how thankful I am to be married to someone who is so selfless so much of the time. I am not the easiest person to live with lately (i.e. pregnant and mildly moody), but he is so good about doing things to make me more comfortable, less tired, etc. even though I know he gets tired too. God also reminded me that there will be times when he is tired, moody, etc. and I should show him the same measure of grace and selflessness he has shown me.
To me, that's what marriage is about- lifting the other person up when they need it most, and they do the same for you. When we are at our worst- that is when we need grace the most. Marriage is the place you get the chance to show this ongoing selflessness. As you share it with one another, the giving of yourself is something you WANT to do, not that you have to do.
This is the same as it is with Christ- the sacrifice he made for me and the grace he shows me every day should make me WANT to give of myself to whatever He is calling me to do, not do it out of obligation. I know I won't pull this off perfectly with my spouse or with God. I am sure I will choose selfishness sometimes when I get stuck in my humanity, but I hope that I can remember the grace I've been shown by both my husband and my God and that it directs my behavior and my choices towards them.
"Through selfless work, love of God grows in the heart. Then through his grace one can realize him in course of time. God can be seen."
Ramakrishna
Monday, January 23, 2012
Ideas
Truth #3: You can't have good ideas unless you are willing to generate a lot of bad ones.
Brainstorming...I've been doing a lot of that lately due to our small business start-up. We had to come up with a name and let me tell you, there were a LOT of bad ones before we finalized our decision. Same for baby names. We have had several "suggestions" on names, the most recent of which were "if it's a girl you could name her Hermione (Harry Potter reference in case you did not know) or Primm....ummmmm...don't think so! Needless to say we are weeding through a lot of names before we reach the right one for our baby due in June.
It actually helps me to generate bad, off the wall, or seemingly impossible or improbable ideas when trying to come to a decision like this because as wrong as the worst idea sounds, the right one sounds equally right. It kind of seperates the "definitely nots" from the "yes definitelys". I also find it's a good brain exercise to work those creative muscles that we sometimes lose somewhere between playing dress up and starting middle school. Unless you do creative work that allows you to use your imagination or creative brainstorming is part of your everyday job, we tend to neglect this part of us as adults. I have foudn that using your creativity is one of the best parts of generating both good and bad ideas.
So is willingness to speak those ideas to others (with love and respect of course). It takes courage and boldness to speak up and share your ideas- good or bad. By sharing our ideas, it gives us a chance to think outside our world view and experience. Just because I don't think it's a good idea does not mean that everyone else thinks that. Something that might seem like a really bad idea to me might answer someone else's question or solve their problem. If we never share ideas how can we help one another. This is NOT to say that everything that goes through your mind needs to be spoken (talking to myself), but rather that if we are thoughtful and prayer about our words and interactions with others, maybe what we are thinking needs to be spoken with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Our willingness to generate bad ideas in order to get to good ideas also shows our willingness to expose our humanity and imperfections which humbles us. If every idea we ever had was a good one it would sure be easy to credit ourselves with the idea vs. crediting God. If every idea was good, we would not learn failure or what it means to lean on God and the Holy Spirit for guidance and intercession. Sometimes our bad ideas lead us to good ideas because we finally listen to something greater than ourselves.
The struggle of prayerfully weighing the pros and cons of decisions helps us know whether each individual idea we come up with is something that will be a positive or a negative in our lives. The struggle of even small things like coming up with the name for a business or a baby helps you get invested in that situation- it connects you. You have labored over both the good and bad ideas and come up with a decision. Knowing that you have struggled and gone over all the possibilities- both good and bad- helps you feel confident in your choice. It is the humility, struggle, and laboriousness of creating ideas that makes them so powerful. When you hit upon a good one, it's worth all the time and energy.
Brainstorming...I've been doing a lot of that lately due to our small business start-up. We had to come up with a name and let me tell you, there were a LOT of bad ones before we finalized our decision. Same for baby names. We have had several "suggestions" on names, the most recent of which were "if it's a girl you could name her Hermione (Harry Potter reference in case you did not know) or Primm....ummmmm...don't think so! Needless to say we are weeding through a lot of names before we reach the right one for our baby due in June.
It actually helps me to generate bad, off the wall, or seemingly impossible or improbable ideas when trying to come to a decision like this because as wrong as the worst idea sounds, the right one sounds equally right. It kind of seperates the "definitely nots" from the "yes definitelys". I also find it's a good brain exercise to work those creative muscles that we sometimes lose somewhere between playing dress up and starting middle school. Unless you do creative work that allows you to use your imagination or creative brainstorming is part of your everyday job, we tend to neglect this part of us as adults. I have foudn that using your creativity is one of the best parts of generating both good and bad ideas.
So is willingness to speak those ideas to others (with love and respect of course). It takes courage and boldness to speak up and share your ideas- good or bad. By sharing our ideas, it gives us a chance to think outside our world view and experience. Just because I don't think it's a good idea does not mean that everyone else thinks that. Something that might seem like a really bad idea to me might answer someone else's question or solve their problem. If we never share ideas how can we help one another. This is NOT to say that everything that goes through your mind needs to be spoken (talking to myself), but rather that if we are thoughtful and prayer about our words and interactions with others, maybe what we are thinking needs to be spoken with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Our willingness to generate bad ideas in order to get to good ideas also shows our willingness to expose our humanity and imperfections which humbles us. If every idea we ever had was a good one it would sure be easy to credit ourselves with the idea vs. crediting God. If every idea was good, we would not learn failure or what it means to lean on God and the Holy Spirit for guidance and intercession. Sometimes our bad ideas lead us to good ideas because we finally listen to something greater than ourselves.
The struggle of prayerfully weighing the pros and cons of decisions helps us know whether each individual idea we come up with is something that will be a positive or a negative in our lives. The struggle of even small things like coming up with the name for a business or a baby helps you get invested in that situation- it connects you. You have labored over both the good and bad ideas and come up with a decision. Knowing that you have struggled and gone over all the possibilities- both good and bad- helps you feel confident in your choice. It is the humility, struggle, and laboriousness of creating ideas that makes them so powerful. When you hit upon a good one, it's worth all the time and energy.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Planning
Truth #2: Life is not easy, especially when you plan on
achieving something worthwhile.
It's interesting how planning for the future works for most of us. We want to make a difference, be successful (whatever that means), live life to the fullest, etc. and like this "truth" says, achieve something worthwhile. We make decisions about what we want our lives to look like say 10-20 years from now and then go about choosing paths that will get us closer to that goal... or NOT. I know for me, I have stated or written out "plans" for the future and then gone and made a choice that flies in the face of accomplishing that goal or having that plan come to fruition. Sometimes that choice has made me have to rethink my plan or construct a new one, other times it has been only a bump in the road that made me hit pause on my plan for a second. Achieving something with your life is a tall order and often, our "plans" make us feel more like losers than winners.
Regardless, it's funny that when I look back, the plans that I had a long time ago have changed (dramatically in some cases), yet I still feel like I am fulfilled. I think it's because I finally realized that no matter the path I take, God is in control of the guidance if I allow Him to be. I never expected to be starting a small business or have worked with adults with serious mental illnesses in a mental health center for 8+ years, or be living back in North Alabama. My plans were different- I wanted to work with kids, live somewhere besides the south, and travel. I see now that what I hoped to gain from those experiences (adventure, challenge, helping people feel loved, respected, and understood, and having the opportunity to learn about new places and things) is still being fulfilled. God just changed the props in the story. That's why I want to be open to any opportunity that comes, knowing that just because it does not fit into my "plan" does not mean it is not the exact thing God is using to complete my plan with a finish even better than I could have predicted. It does not mean it will be easier, but it will always be better than what I think my path should be. So, I still make plans, but know that they are subject to change at any moment if He opens a door. I only hope I have the courage to walk through it when it happens.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Growing
Sooooo...I finally jumped into the world of blogging. Blogging is something I have been resistant to starting for "fear" that I would start out writing a lot and then run out of time or energy to keep it up. To be honest that will probably be the case at some point, but I figured I might as well give it a go. Not wanting to solely chronicle stories about my precious, funny, active (and sometimes whiny and demanding) child, I was waiting to see or hear something that grabbed my attention enough to want to write more about it. My husband sent me this list last week of 101 Simple Truths We Often Forget. I related so much to each one of them I thought that the list could jump start the blog and help me put into writing why each of these "truths" are so important to me, especially right now.
By the way, in addition to starting this blog, I am due to have our second baby in June of this year, we just moved into a new house, we are currently starting a courier business that I am trying to get off the ground, and Parker just started Mother's Day Out 3 mornings a week...nothing like jumping in with both feet!
Truth #1: The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing. Growing happens when what you know changes how you live.
How many people are you acquainted with who know a lot about a variety of subjects, but cannot or will not put that knowledge to use (i.e. I know the health risks of smoking, but...; I know I should be saving instead of getting into more debt...; I know I should spend less time at work and more time with my family, etc.)? How much knowledge that I have acquired has been put to use- specially in the realm of spiritual truths? For me I would say that I have a LOT of "knowledge" inside my head or within me that I have not allowed to change me. I am reminded of a quote recently posted on Facebook:
The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
How often does our knowledge of what is right or just carry over to the way we live our lives? I want to be a person who is continually growing, changing, and challenging myself everyday. That means that once the Holy Spirit reveals a truth to me, I must use it to change my everyday actions and choices. Otherwise, it does not help me grow, but rather becomes just a thought, a concept inside my head. What good does that do me or anyone else? So why is it that most of the time I choose to keep on plugging along the same way everyday instead of letting the truth change me? Maybe because change is uncomfortable, or because I am too lazy or afraid to go and do what I KNOW God is telling me to do. No matter the reason for my complacency, the quote above says it all...if we as Christians remain silent and do not allow the truths of the Holy Spirit to drive us to action, we will only be perpetuating the problems we face individually, as a nation, and in the world. I want to grow...what truth will I allow to change me today?
By the way, in addition to starting this blog, I am due to have our second baby in June of this year, we just moved into a new house, we are currently starting a courier business that I am trying to get off the ground, and Parker just started Mother's Day Out 3 mornings a week...nothing like jumping in with both feet!
Truth #1: The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing. Growing happens when what you know changes how you live.
How many people are you acquainted with who know a lot about a variety of subjects, but cannot or will not put that knowledge to use (i.e. I know the health risks of smoking, but...; I know I should be saving instead of getting into more debt...; I know I should spend less time at work and more time with my family, etc.)? How much knowledge that I have acquired has been put to use- specially in the realm of spiritual truths? For me I would say that I have a LOT of "knowledge" inside my head or within me that I have not allowed to change me. I am reminded of a quote recently posted on Facebook:
The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
How often does our knowledge of what is right or just carry over to the way we live our lives? I want to be a person who is continually growing, changing, and challenging myself everyday. That means that once the Holy Spirit reveals a truth to me, I must use it to change my everyday actions and choices. Otherwise, it does not help me grow, but rather becomes just a thought, a concept inside my head. What good does that do me or anyone else? So why is it that most of the time I choose to keep on plugging along the same way everyday instead of letting the truth change me? Maybe because change is uncomfortable, or because I am too lazy or afraid to go and do what I KNOW God is telling me to do. No matter the reason for my complacency, the quote above says it all...if we as Christians remain silent and do not allow the truths of the Holy Spirit to drive us to action, we will only be perpetuating the problems we face individually, as a nation, and in the world. I want to grow...what truth will I allow to change me today?
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